The first few months

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Hey guys! Once again I have failed at staying on top of my blogging and once again I’m so sorry! Our life has been so crazy since my last post and so much has changed in fact here I sit here rocking and feeding sweet baby boy. But Im getting ahead of myself let me tell you all about it!

We became licensed on a Tuesday early in February ..so pumped and nervous having all the feels for what the future could hold. Wednesday afternoon I was loading up my little man into the car after being at the park when I got a call from our caseworker! She said there was a set of twins.. a boy/girl that were being released from the NICU tomorrow that were 18 days old and would we be interested. They are drug exposed and having withdrawals she said and that’s all we knew. I immediately felt it was right but told her I needed to call my hubby to check and see what he thought.

I called hubby up and I barely got the words out when he said call her back “let’s go get those babies! ” We went to the hospital the next day around 10:30 ( I had to work up until time and thought I was going to go insane waiting haha) . We met with the caseworker and with the cps workers and are sitting in the waiting room signing papers which will allow these precious little ones to come home with us! Cps brought us some supplies that had been donated and brought them new car seats because the ones mom brought weren’t in good shape. And then the moment our lives changed forever happened… these precious nurses came out carrying these car seats that looked like they had miniature baby dolls in them and the moment I saw them I loved them. The nurses told us how much they loved these babies and that baby boy is a little old man that is super laid back and baby girl is little miss drama queen (both of these things are still very much true today haha!

We were so blessed to have amazing family and friends bring us food and clothes, diapers and wipes, extra swings a double stroller base for car seats. So many things I didn’t even think about that we needed because we had baby things saved from little man… haha but so many things you need two of and some you just want lol.

The first couple months were kind of a blur as we tried to navigate this unexplored territory. Lots of sleepless nights.. lots of learning curves. I had never used formula before so making what felt like 100 bottles a day was absolutely crazy. I slept on an air mattress in the twins nursery for the first few months because they were so tiny I was scared to leave them.. plus they were up every 2-3 hours and i was trying to keep hubby from being as exhausted as I was. So many hard things during this time that I want to cry looking back at where we came from. Withdrawl in newborns is one of the most terrifying thing ever. Baby boy had the tremors the worst and was extremely stiff . The tremors were like mini seizures, his little body would shake and we would just hold him and love on him. Baby girl had some but she mostly struggled with being touched. I would have to talk her through everything I did before I did it. ” Here we go I’m going to change your diaper” or “lets get you into some clean clothes” Bath time was a nightmare for both of them because they hated the feeling of water and wet wash clothes on their skin. Everything I did for months was trying to figure out what they liked and what they hated haha. Baby boy loved being cuddled from the beginning and was pretty easy other than his inability to keep formula down… Oh my word it was horrible. One minute you are feeding this little bit of nothing and the next thing I knew it was shooting out his mouth and nose and he would shake horribly. It was absolutely terrifying. Baby girl and I had to work up to cuddling though.. The doctors and therapists said to do skin to skin with her and that looking back helped so much but in the moment was so hard on both of us. She would scream in pain and i would cry.

I kept crying out to God knowing He was the one i would get my strength from. I prayed over the babies many many times a day and night and sang lots of worship music to them. I truly believe that in everything the only reason I made it through was because of my heavenly Father.

All through this our little man was adjusting. The first few days were the hardest for him and after we struggled with some jealousy. But oh my goodness he fell so hard in love with ‘Brother’ and ‘Sister’ and couldn’t get enough of them. I was constantly stressed that he would squish them because he always wanted to hug and love on them and he would ask to hold them every chance he got. I am so proud of that little guy. It couldn’t have worked out more perfectly.

Before we even became licensed I would pray at night with little man and we would pray for the babies that God would bring to us.. I think this helped him prepare for this new change that we didn’t even realize was going to happen.

There are so many little details that keep flooding my mind as I write this but I also know this post would go on forever and ever if I didn’t try to come to an end. I will make another post soon to continue the journey. I am still several months behind in our story with these babies and look forward to sharing with y’all. If you have ever fostered twins or had a placement since birth up until mom possibly getting them back please share your story with me and your advice.

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Joy comes in the morning

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Hello my readers.. I am so sorry once again that I have not been present on here. I took some time to just be with family and really focus on healing after the crazy year we’ve had. I am so blessed to have such an amazing support system both with my family and friends that I don’t think I would be who I am today or where I’m at in my process that I am. Miscarriages are extremely hard..they are brutal…thwy take a toll on not just your physical health but also your mental and spiritual health. I was in a really dark place where honestly I spent a lot of time watching tv and sitting in the floor watching my two and half-year old play with his toys. I’m not sure who all reads my posts but if you have been or are going through this I promise it will get better. And its ok to feel all the feelings and to let yourself go but don’t forget to get back up!

God has been so good to me and never left me and He is there for you too! I have come to this amazing place where I’m ok not having another baby right now and I’m ok if I can’t get pregnant and carry another baby to term. I have been so blessed to have my little miracle boy and I know I am called for much more than what I originally believed. All my life I believed this little truth that I was to be a mom but what I am just now seeing is that God has a much a bigger plan for me. And I am so excited about this journey. I have mentioned how adoption has been on our hearts since the beginning of our relationship but what i didn’t anticipate was Fostering/fostering to adopt. In fact I was firm against it for a long time.

Heres a little back story… Easter we went to a family gathering of my husband’s side and his cousin who had adopted from the foster care system was there and we visited with her. She gave us a look into how it was and all that came with it and my husband was intrigued.. I on the other hand was scared to death… I knew there was a need but my fear was so crippling that was all I could see. I kept saying the lies the enemy was feeding me keeping me from obeying the call. “I couldn’t do that love on a kid and then give them back” “I would get too attached ” and so many more.. But when God has called you to do something He will not let it go lol! All was quiet for a while and I thought my firm no was all there was to it. Then July I miscarried my second and then August came another one which due to it being an ectopic and it leaving a mass in my left fallopian tube I had to have surgery.. Things were really hard and I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to get pregnant again because of my fear. And then I had a dream.

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I know you are probably thinking I am crazy and I would too if it this wasn’t my story lol.. In my dream was three dreams (almost like I woke up between each one) and in each one I would go out to my car and in the backseat /back trunk area was a baby or toddler with a note saying “Please find me a good home”. I woke up feeling heartbroken over the situations but also feeling inspired but I couldn’t understand. I thought maybe it was because I never got to meet my three little angel babies but I soon realized it was so much more than that. I was praying and asking for clarity and my eyes were opened to the dire need in our country for children to have loving homes. And I knew without a doubt that this was what I was called to. I sat my hubby down and brought everything to his attention and guess what guys?!? He was feeling the same thing and had been thinking foster care was the route we were supposed to go but he didn’t want to bring it up because I had been so fragile.

God is so good. His timing is so perfect! I am still shocked at how blind I was to what God wanted for us. My mother in law has said on many occasions that I was meant to be a mother of many and I had a friend recently say almost the exact same thing and now it has so much more meaning!!

 

We are so close to being finalized and active in the system to welcome a placement. We have finished all our training and home visits and will be signing this week!! We are opening up our home to 2 & under and are willing to take a sibling pair. I would love to connect with other foster parents for the good the bad and the ugly of it all.

Please join us in this exciting adventure and pray for our family as we trust God and jump into to this amazing new adventure!

In a weeks time..

Hey y’all I’m sorry I haven’t written in a little while… A LOT has been happening in my neck of the woods starting with I OVULATED!!!! AGAIN!!! This is only the second time ever that my body has done the natural thing eekkk!!!! I’m so excited! I thought about writing about it when it happened but …… that felt awkward to me haha.. I am all about transparency but I didn’t want to cross the awkward fine line. I should be able to test soonish to see if we are pregnant again. So please be praying that we will be able to get pregnant naturally in Gods timing. I can’t even begin to express my joy in ovulating on my own! I doubt myself so often and even when I don’t mean to I put myself down… This journey is giving me a different perspective of who I am. I am NOT broken! I am NOT a failure! I am NOT letting anyone down! But I AM strong! I AM exactly who God made me to be! I AM NOT alone!! I AM SO BLESSED!!! I hope that if someone is reading this and is struggling like I am , that they know they aren’t alone! I know this journey feels so secluded but we are all in this together and I would love to be apart of your story like you are in mine!!!!

pexels-photo-490411.jpegThis week I have been fighting allergies so bad… Oh and did I mention that my 18 month old figured out how to climb out of his pack and play? I know you are probably wondering why he was sleeping in it to begin with. Well he learned how to climb out of his crib at 12 months and I was terrified of him getting hurt so I moved him to the play pen… Until this week that it… You see he kept getting out and I would put him back in and the last time he gave me a lot of grief. So I decided to watch the baby monitor to see how he was escaping.. Only to see him hike his little leg over the side and topple onto his head…. Welp no more playpen for us… I still had his mattress from the crib but we haven’t gotten him a toddler bed yet because we thought we still had time. Silly us! haha

We bought a baby gate for his doorway so he wouldn’t escape in the middle of the night and he is sleeping on the mattress on the floor. The first couple nights he was so scared. He made a crying noise I had never heard before and I knew that he was terrified of being in this bed. So I laid on the floor beside him until he fell asleep. I won’t do this all the time but every now and then giving in to little things like this are so important. He knew that momma wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to him. And I absolutely loved when he would reach his little hands over and touch my face to make sure I was still there. My heart is beaming and breaking as I write this. I love that little boy so much and as much as one watching him grow up I hate it too.. He becomes more independent and grows so much character every day. He is so sweet but has a stinker side to him haha. He does this thing where he will give all of my family ( my dad and two brothers and one sister) all “sugars” aka kisses and then when it comes to my mom he will scrunch up his nose and laugh and purposefully not kiss her at that moment. He is such a hoot! Later when “it doesn’t seem like a game” he will give her a bunch of sugars. Sorry for the rabbit trail there.. I can’t help it I’m a crazy mom obsessed with her kid!! Anywho we are on day 5 of sleeping in the big boy bed and he has no trouble at night ( nap time is a different story) . Yay to toddler bed! Next stop is potty training… Oh Lord please give me strength!!

pexels-photo-348520.jpegToday is hubby and my 5 year wedding anniversary!! My parents kept little man ( such a blessing to live near them during this time!) and we went to dinner at Olive Garden. That is our special dinner place that we always go for anniversaries and sometimes birthdays. I thought I would share a little bit of our story! We met on  a blind date on Christmas Eve Eve (or Christmas Adam as my hubby calls it) His dad set up the whole thing and I wasn’t interested at the time in dating. My friend that i took with me didn’t like him so I trusted her instincts and didnt pursue the relationship. Haha who knows what would have happened if our story ended there. We stayed in touch but I let him know that I was very content being single at this time and we could only be friends. Future hubby was/is in the Navy and was leaving on a deployment that next June and asked if I would email him. I agreed not thinking anything of it. But over the next 6 months of consistent emails we fell in love. He came home for 2 months and we spent time together with his family and mine. I knew in my heart that this was the man I was going to spend my life with! 21 days of spending time together in person, he proposed over FaceTime. He was at that time in Norfolk VA and I was in West Texas. His family helped him set it all up and I was completely clueless!!! I obviously said yes lol. And exactly a week later we were married. 5 days after that he left again for a 4 month deployment. I know you probably are thinking we are crazy and we are haha. But when you know something you just know. And there is no reason to delay the inevitable. So here we are 5 years, 4 houses (2 rent 2   owned) 1 kid ,1 miscarriage, 2 different states, 1 deployment, many many detatchments, infertility, so many hobbies, 3 dogs ,  and all kinds of every day life stuff later plus hubby being a Navy recruiter now and I have started my own business  and we are still going strong by the Grace of God!!! There is no way we could have survived any of this if we hadn’t stayed focused on him!!!

 

This is me

Navy wife with a toddler. life is a crazy adventure

So this is absolutely terrifying and I’m a little surprised I’m doing this haha… But here goes nothing. This is going to be a journey into my life a little bit where you will see the adventures  of being a  Christian Navy wife from the middle of nowhere Texas ,being a mom of a toddler, someone who struggles with infertility and depression, and also someone who loves essential oils. So let me start off by introducing myself. Hey my name is Lizzy. I’m 25. Hubby and I have been married almost 5 years and our Little man is 18 months. I love all things beach, musicals, food, reading Amish fiction, gluten-free, and coffee lots and lots of coffee. Oh and I’m  an introvert…. Im not especially good at sharing so this should be interesting. My goal is to be transparent and to be a friend . So please feel free to message me and I will follow your blogs and/or social media as well . I know that life is crazy and none of us,especially me, have it all together but we aren’t alone. Anytime I go through something I look for others that have been there or are going through the same thing because then it’s not as scary. I hope that I can be that for someone else.

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