It’s currently 2:48 am and anyone with littles knows I’m awake for a couple reasons.. either the babies aren’t sleeping or someone is sick. Yep you guessed it.. my little man has a tummy ache. This is the first time in his 3 years he’s ever thrown up and if it was a normal night I wouldn’t be think too much of it but tomorrow well actually later today haha… is court for the twins.
Second permanency hearing where they may change goal to non-relative adoption with the possibility that if mom finishes her things she could get them back.. my heart has already been so conflicted about this because we love them so much and it’s like a dangling carrot that we may never be able to have and that hurts but honestly we are praying so hard that Gods will be done and they end up in a stable loving safe home! That’s the most important thing even if it means our hearts get broken in the process.. and our prayer is also that everything be decided soon so that the babies don’t stay in the system forever waiting on mom to complete those last few things…
Oh and the new attorney is supposed to come by in the morning before court to meet us… yay first impression sick family… and the twins allergies are so bad baby boy has had some nasty diapers which I thought was due to drainage but maybe he has a had the stomach bug too… hmm maybe not tho cause he’s still had plenty of an appetite and the only issue is his tushy is really sore.. sorry my mom brain is rambling tonight!
It’s crazy to me how when there are important things going on and you’ve been taking all of this to prayer that the enemy comes in and wrecks havoc! But I am declaring that he will not defeat me! I will keep my eyes on my Heavenly Father! I will praise Him for the last 9 months with the twins! Praise Him for us not having had a stomach bug before now! Praise Him that our new baby hasn’t been born yet and can’t get sick from this! Praise Him that I’m almost 37 weeks with our surprise miracle baby! Praise Him that the night little man gets sick Disney plus launches and we can watch the Lion King! Praise Him for essential oils to help us get better and hopefully avoid getting the little ones sick!! So many things to be thankful for.. it would be so easy to focus on the negative but I’m choosing to focus on our blessings instead!
Prayers for our day for healing and for the judge to make a good decision today that will help move the twins towards permanency in whatever that’s supposed to look like!
Hey guys! Once again I have failed at staying on top of my blogging and once again I’m so sorry! Our life has been so crazy since my last post and so much has changed in fact here I sit here rocking and feeding sweet baby boy. But Im getting ahead of myself let me tell you all about it!
We became licensed on a Tuesday early in February ..so pumped and nervous having all the feels for what the future could hold. Wednesday afternoon I was loading up my little man into the car after being at the park when I got a call from our caseworker! She said there was a set of twins.. a boy/girl that were being released from the NICU tomorrow that were 18 days old and would we be interested. They are drug exposed and having withdrawals she said and that’s all we knew. I immediately felt it was right but told her I needed to call my hubby to check and see what he thought.
I called hubby up and I barely got the words out when he said call her back “let’s go get those babies! ” We went to the hospital the next day around 10:30 ( I had to work up until time and thought I was going to go insane waiting haha) . We met with the caseworker and with the cps workers and are sitting in the waiting room signing papers which will allow these precious little ones to come home with us! Cps brought us some supplies that had been donated and brought them new car seats because the ones mom brought weren’t in good shape. And then the moment our lives changed forever happened… these precious nurses came out carrying these car seats that looked like they had miniature baby dolls in them and the moment I saw them I loved them. The nurses told us how much they loved these babies and that baby boy is a little old man that is super laid back and baby girl is little miss drama queen (both of these things are still very much true today haha!
We were so blessed to have amazing family and friends bring us food and clothes, diapers and wipes, extra swings a double stroller base for car seats. So many things I didn’t even think about that we needed because we had baby things saved from little man… haha but so many things you need two of and some you just want lol.
The first couple months were kind of a blur as we tried to navigate this unexplored territory. Lots of sleepless nights.. lots of learning curves. I had never used formula before so making what felt like 100 bottles a day was absolutely crazy. I slept on an air mattress in the twins nursery for the first few months because they were so tiny I was scared to leave them.. plus they were up every 2-3 hours and i was trying to keep hubby from being as exhausted as I was. So many hard things during this time that I want to cry looking back at where we came from. Withdrawl in newborns is one of the most terrifying thing ever. Baby boy had the tremors the worst and was extremely stiff . The tremors were like mini seizures, his little body would shake and we would just hold him and love on him. Baby girl had some but she mostly struggled with being touched. I would have to talk her through everything I did before I did it. ” Here we go I’m going to change your diaper” or “lets get you into some clean clothes” Bath time was a nightmare for both of them because they hated the feeling of water and wet wash clothes on their skin. Everything I did for months was trying to figure out what they liked and what they hated haha. Baby boy loved being cuddled from the beginning and was pretty easy other than his inability to keep formula down… Oh my word it was horrible. One minute you are feeding this little bit of nothing and the next thing I knew it was shooting out his mouth and nose and he would shake horribly. It was absolutely terrifying. Baby girl and I had to work up to cuddling though.. The doctors and therapists said to do skin to skin with her and that looking back helped so much but in the moment was so hard on both of us. She would scream in pain and i would cry.
I kept crying out to God knowing He was the one i would get my strength from. I prayed over the babies many many times a day and night and sang lots of worship music to them. I truly believe that in everything the only reason I made it through was because of my heavenly Father.
All through this our little man was adjusting. The first few days were the hardest for him and after we struggled with some jealousy. But oh my goodness he fell so hard in love with ‘Brother’ and ‘Sister’ and couldn’t get enough of them. I was constantly stressed that he would squish them because he always wanted to hug and love on them and he would ask to hold them every chance he got. I am so proud of that little guy. It couldn’t have worked out more perfectly.
Before we even became licensed I would pray at night with little man and we would pray for the babies that God would bring to us.. I think this helped him prepare for this new change that we didn’t even realize was going to happen.
There are so many little details that keep flooding my mind as I write this but I also know this post would go on forever and ever if I didn’t try to come to an end. I will make another post soon to continue the journey. I am still several months behind in our story with these babies and look forward to sharing with y’all. If you have ever fostered twins or had a placement since birth up until mom possibly getting them back please share your story with me and your advice.
It’s currently 2:48 am and anyone with littles knows I’m awake for a couple reasons.. either the babies aren’t sleeping or someone is sick. Yep you guessed it.. my little man has a tummy ache. This is the first time in his 3 years he’s ever thrown up and if it was a normal night I wouldn’t be think too much of it but tomorrow well actually later today haha… is court for the twins.
The Life of a Navy Wife 